Being born in Yugoslavia

Being born in Yugoslavia meant, in terms of consciousness, being born in 1945 (not physically) in a socialist country, undertaking Stalinist primary school and first steps of education. I was part of the first generation of pioneers with a shaved head, with a black overall buttoned all the way up and the legendary red handkerchief tied around my neck. The image of Stalin was hung of over the walls. It was an education of “soldierly choreography”, thus the idea of the system was imposed on me from a young age, together with the first letters that I wrote and read. Any movement we made, entering into class, leaving school, etc., had to be done in line, composed and ordered. It was a daily reality, that saw ideological order as an essential and representative fact, but, above all, it was “brain washing”, to use an expression from the past. They told us constantly that we were the heirs of a new world that was building a great future. Still today I can remember it all, even the small details. Then, in 1953, after much suffering, I found myself at the secondary school for art. It was the year of Stalin’s death. The story did not change much. The spies diminished from “one in three” to “one in ten”. But they were becoming better. There was the illusion of a flexibility of a more liberal regime, but in reality it wasn’t true. I was nineteen years old and had discovered sport, and the possibilities that sport could give. It was the favoured activity and I wanted to try: my first steps in athletics were promising. In this way I began to change within myself, regaining confidence and identity. I dedicated myself to training with all my efforts. I had a great will to succeed, trying to be positive with everything else, which did not come easy to me, considering that I was already very frustrated.
Being born in Yugoslavia meant being obsessed with the idea of running away. But, in spite of everything, I am sorry that Yugoslavia no longer exists, and I am not convinced that socialism was wrong and that capitalism is right!

**Part of the interview with Vania Granata, November 2003.